zeusyallday:

so airplanes officially banned tweezers. honestly i think anyone that can hijack an airplane with a pair of tweezers deserves the airplane

"I wanna be your idea of perfect"
- Jay Gatsby (Leo)

inbox:

there is no reason for “sean” to be pronounced “shawn”

sugarrette:

fun prank: put $1000 in an envelope and mail it to me

crimewave360:

shinygays:

My anaconda don’t want none unless the state of the economy recovers, minimum wage workers see an increase in their pay, and women, racial, and sexual minorities acquire their rights.

hun

madeagoestohell:

i wonder if anyone has ever peed in the olympic pool

oboebandgeek99:

heckacute:

If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

Why the fuck would I do that

the-citythatneversleeps:

i may:

  • have bigger boobs than you
  • have a large butt
  • own clothes a couple sizes bigger than you
  • take up a bit more space on the bus
  • have chubby cheeks
  • and stomach rolls

but that doesn’t make me any less of a person